#Moms- How many kids do you want? How did you decide?
This past weekend, my husband and I went out to dinner. We vow not to talk about the kids when we have time to ourselves but inevitably our discussions always revolve around the kids. I am sure you can relate if you have kids. Our discussion led way back to the time we were in Hawaii, and were thinking about having baby #2. Hawaii came up because we are currently in the mist of planning our second trip there at the end of April. We are taking a cruise and we were booking some excursions on the boat. Then suddenly out of my mouth came, “So, are we going to try for baby #3 in Hawaii.” Our son, Zane, was conceived in Hawaii so my mind instantly led to that thought and off went my diarrhea of the mouth. I am relentless when I have a thought and want my husband to agree.
I will state for the record- I am not going to come back pregnant from this vacation. I know you are thinking that I will be saying that from the remarks above, but no this is not the case. The fact is I do not want more kids right now at this point of my life. Couple that with the fact that I will have some children up my backside the whole Hawaii trip, and you will see that becoming pregnant will never happen on this vacation.
However, I have a personal dilemma. Perhaps you could relate and if so, I would love some input. My husband is set with having two kids. His logic is we have two healthy children, a boy and a girl, so what more can we ask for in our lives. When I was telling my best friend about what he said, she tended to side with him. He feels that having an extra child will be more than we could handle both financially and physically. He also is slightly scared of having that child #4 at the same time, since twins are so prevalent in my family. Both sets of my grandparents were twins so there is definitely a genetic link in this case. But I have to say – I really want another child!
While I don’t want another child this year and perhaps not even next, I do want that third child. I actually long for that third child. Yes, I know, you are probably asking me- How can you want a third, if you really didn’t want a second. I blogged previously about my fear of having a second because Hayley was a TERROR as a baby. However, Zane rolled around and he assured me that all babies are not as difficult as my Hayley was. While Zane is one of the easiest babies around, I also know that we will not be guaranteed an easy baby if we go for a third. I do now believe though that I would be more prepared if we were presented with the challenges of raising another colicky infant. Having a second child to me, was so much easier than bringing my first child in the world. My whole mentality and outlook at raising the second child was more scaled back and relaxed. I think if we brought a third beautiful baby in the picture, I would be emotionally ready.
So, the real problem I foresee in the future: My husband is completely done with having kids. I don’t feel done at all- I want to go through pregnancy again! I want to have a squishy newborn again! I want a third child! My question for all my readers is: Can you relate to my dilemma? Did you and your husband see eye-to-eye on how many kids you would like? What was the outcome? How did you know you were done?
Our 3rd child was a surprise and even more of a surprise to find out it was a boy (after having 2 girls) we decided to go for number 4 because we wanted our kids to have a partner in crime. We lucked out with having another boy. I'm done with having kids. They are so close in age that having any more would just be crazy. lol
Mama to 4says
trying to conceive baby 5 now! 5 is it for us – that is 5 c-sections.
mommy in the midwestsays
We always thought we wanted 2, maybe 3. Now that we have 2 (14 months apart at that!), we both agree…TWO is good! LOL!
Ellensays
Honestly, I've never wanted more than two kids. Yes, I adore babies. I love the entire process of being pregnant and snuggling your newborn. They don't stay babies though & eventually they turn into children and teenagers who require much more attention and much more patience. Two is about what I feel competent to deal with and so I'm staying here.
Sarahsays
It's funny how things work out. When I was a 16, I said I was never getting married and NEVER having kids. I got married 3 years later and had 4 children in less than 7 years. I went to my OB/GYN yesterday to discuss shutting down the baby maker before any SURPRISES happen and he actually talked me out of it because I said "I *think* we are done." He explained that so many women think that and then regret it a few years down the road. I can't imagine ever wanting a 5th child but because you never know what might happen, I decided to go with an IUD vs. getting a permanent fix. LOL
Couponing Away Debtsays
Before having children I wanted 5, yes 5! When we had our first that number very quickly went to 2 or 3 for me. My husband wanted to have a son after having a daughter, so he was fine with 2 when we found out our second was a boy. We thought our life was complete and both thought 2 is enough. Right before our son turned 1 we found out I was pregnant..shocked bc our first 2 children were very planned we had our 3rd (a boy). Dont get me wrong Id do it all over again but having 3 was just more than we can deal with sometimes. I dont know if its bc my boys are only 18 months apart and our daughter still 4 (3 when he was born) but its alot of work especially with our 3rd being our toughest baby. Since then we have agreed we are done having babies. My husband thinks im insane bc I still get the newborn itch thats when I go to a friends house and play with their babies and go home 🙂
Gumdrop Passsays
I'm in the midst of baby fever right now, so I may be the wrong person to ask. I can relate some though, because Jake has said plenty of times that he thinks two is enough, while I can see having four. It's just something that will work itself out, I think… And you make such beautiful babies, you simple HAVE to have another 🙂
Shopping Tips and Trickssays
Always such a hard decision. We had two naturally but because of health issues & having diabetes during my pregnancy, we decided to not risk it again. So, we adopted 2 more. 🙂 A sibling group, brother/sister. That way we still had more kids like we wanted, but I didn't risk getting diabetes for life from a 3rd or 4th pregnancy. Hubby would have liked to adopt more, but I was at my limit at 4. Of course, finances put a stop to any more adoptions.
Grandma Juicesays
I always said I never wanted kids, I wanted to be the 'fun aunt'… you know so you can send them home and stuff. Then promptly spit out 4… I had my tubes tied the day after my youngest one was born. and was over joyed… for a few years. Then I divorced and remarried and thought… now WE can't have any… we bounced back and forth every six months or so about having the tubes untied. Then the grand kids came. (I'm a VERY young, cool and extremely hip Gma!) And, we're good with that now… I think we all have that feeling of 'I can always do this later"… then when 'later' passes you by and you realize you can't anymore… it's a feeling of being 'broke'… or… something. I can still have them untied, but don't want to anymore. It's such a personal choice for everyone…. and people who wait until the 'right time', I want to know exactly when is 'right'… because I think it's different for everyone. for me, I like to hold friends teeny tiny yummy smelling babies… then they poop and the feeling of wanting more completely disappears! =)
Kasssays
When we were engaged, Seth and I both said that we wanted 3 kids. We thought that was a nice number to have. We hoped for at least one boy and one girl. Then Aiden came. Aiden was not a hard baby at all, but Seth, being the new dad stressed and said we were done at 1. After a while he relaxed and then we went ahead and had Rebecca. Super, super easy. He was all set with having just 2 and I was nervous because while I really wanted a girl, what if we had another boy? We agreed that if #2 had been a girl then we would consider a third, but if #2 was a girl then we were done. So as it stands, unless we win the lottery we are done. Everyone has their own room. I don't need a bigger car for a 3rd and financially we are very comfortable to be able to take family vacations, participate in activities and do things with the house. A third is managable, but we wouldn't be able to do everything else. It would make it tight.
Samanthasays
Gwen was a total surprise, but before we found out we had had the talk a few times, and I thought that we were both on the same page. Wanting two. Then sometime before we found out that we were having a girl, I overheard Jason say that he could be done with one, if it was a boy! I was like, "What?!?!". I told him NO WAY and that he just jinxed it, he was definitely getting a girl now, and I was right! He was an only child until he was 16, and then his mom had triplets, so I was amazed that he would want his child to be an only child! We have agreed on one more and he is BEGGING for a boy! Lol But we aren't trying until after my brother's wedding in August.
Kasssays
My OB tried to talk me out of wanting to get my tubes tied. She said "you're so young, do you want to think about it more?" Already did and we don't want an oops baby. I'm going in July to get it done.
Selbegearmisays
We are in the same decision making process as you are actually. I never wanted children and then at 25 yrs old I got the surprise of my life when we found out we were pregnant. My daughter Leila was born in 2004 and she was the light of my life! For years we didn't even discuss having more children and then we moved and bought a house and decided we would start trying. I had my son June 2010 and couldn't have been happier. At that point I was pretty sure I wanted another one at some point but got another surprise when my son was 6 months old… we were pregnant again! Our daughter Maia was born September 11, 2011. Her birth was very traumatic and we both almost lost our lives but in the end it all turned out ok! I was talking to my husband the other night about what we want to do (get my tubes tied or have a vasectomy, etc) and whether we wanted to have another one. He does not want another child but I don't want to take it off the table completely. I think I just don't like the idea that "I can't" have another one. At this point I do not want to but as a woman I feel like mentally I should. We decided that if we ever want to take on another child, we will adopt. I feel like that would be just as rewarding as giving birth to my own. We will see though… 2 in 2 years has been tough. I will give it a few years to see how I feel!
Anonymoussays
When my husband and I first decided on having baby number 1 he in formed me he wanted 3 children. Well, after baby number 2 he had changed his mind. We have a boy and a girl and that was enough for him. Our first born is very hard to handle. Its put alot of extra stress on us. He decided to have a vasectomy. I have been secretly wanting to have another child. We cant though so even though i love both my children with all my heart, the wanting of that third child seems to be a real problem for me.
Emptynester Savings and Moresays
I always figured God only gave me 2 hands to hold 2 childrens hands when crossing the street, to keep them safe. I don't think as a mother, you ever lose that yearning for a baby, but you need to realistic about it. Consider your finances, your spouse, all factors have to be in sync. I am loving have a grandson to be able to hand hold with now. They are a blessing not quite explainable 🙂 Julie Lovell Backes
The BOATsays
I seriously could have written this post for you, except switch out Disney for Hawaii and O was a great baby! I feel the same as your husband in the part where we have 1 of each gender, and there are two of them and two of us. However, I just don't feel done (probably why I'm having trouble getting rid of all that baby stuff we have). I'm not ready for a 3rd just now either. B is only 16 months old and I want to be able to enjoy her at this age and not worry about a newborn. I also fear the 3rd child syndrom…would she feel left out? My hubby and I both came from a family with 2 kids, so I'm not sure of the dynamics of 3 kids. I also always said that I would never have 3 kids, unless I had a single child and a set of twins. So with that being said, I'm either done, or have 2 more to come at some point! ; ) I was so hoping after having B that I would have that feeling of being done, but I don't. My husband is 100% done until I convince him! ; )
Sarahsays
We always said we were having two and that was it. Then Wyatt came along and at my 6 week check up I was ready to start trying for number 2. Ryan of course said absolutely not so we waited until he was 7 months old. I'm 3 months in and so very ready to get pregnant again, but then the fear creeps up that maybe we are only supposed to have one baby. But who knows. Wyatt has the easiest baby ever and we know the next one is pretty much guaranteed to be a hard baby. I've already asked for 3 kids…Ryan still says 2 but we will see. I think it's hard to overlook 3 college tuitions!
Jessica Cortezsays
Oh goodness, that is a tough one. I don't think my answer will be much different from any of the others. That doesn't help, does it?! We only have one and I still go back and forth on having another. One for medical reasons and two, he has had issues of his own. But then I think I would feel guilty later on. If you have your mind set on having another, I'm sure you will be able to work it out.
Karlasays
I have 3 but I think 2 is an excellent number to stop at.
Jessi Timmermanssays
From my experience, until you are sure your ready for another one soon, or done FOREVER, theres a huge grey space. we would love to have a house full of kids, but life has another plan for us. maybe on your trip to hawaii you and your husband will have the time to sit down and come together 🙂
Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com]says
I think this has crossed all our minds whether we're newlyweds, pregnant with #1 or #2 or just have a new baby at home. I know for sure that we want 1 more, but I've also always had this "feeling" that 2 won't be enough and that we'll have 3. As "awful" as this could sound, I think if we have another boy next, I would really want to try for my little girl for #3, but if we ended up with 3 boys I'd still be the happiest mom in the world, I LOVE being a boy mom. But if we get pregnant and end up having a girl…I still feel like I'd want the 3rd. Having said that…we just have to take it day by day and see how we handle ourselves as a family of 4 first. I think it's a lot easier to plan vacations, etc with an even number in your family too. Hubby grew up in a family of 4 kids…and I'm thinking there's no way I want 4, but like you said…there's always the possibility of twins!
Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too!says
I was once in the same boat! We had a boy and a girl, and my husband said we were absolutely done. I was heartbroken, because I had always wanted 4 kids. In a funny turn of events, he was the one who wanted to try for the third! I am not sure what changed his mind, but our third baby is such a blessing. When we're asked if we're going to have another, he always says we are done, but he doesn't want to do anything permanent, "just in case."
Lori Dsays
Our children are now 10, 8 & 3. Everyone asks if #3 was an OOOOps baby! But, he was VERY planned. We talked about a 3rd and decided that we would leave it in God's hands. We would "try" for one month to get pregnant, and if it worked, we would know it was meant to be. If it hadn't of worked I would have accepted that 2 children was God's plan for our family. Although our 3rd child is a TERROR- and I am getting older and have less patience for his shananagins … he is still a spark of energy and life in our family unit. I can't imagine life without him in it. Are vacations more difficult with him in tow? YES! Can we have a peaceful dinner out with the kids? NO! But, that is temporary. At this stage in our lives, sometimes I think of how nice it would be to have a 5th grader and a 2nd grader… and RELAX! But, …. then I think of our future ~ and I might be a nana to 6 or more kids someday!! I want everyone here for holidays and celebrations ~ enjoying a large family! You will never have enough money & you will never have enough time. That is the reality. So, just do the best you can with what you have. God will never give you more than you can handle. That's what I believe.
Momarabbitsays
I started with big numbers like 6 or 8 just in case my husband wanted to cut it down to a few, lol. I came from a house of 4 sisters so no surprise to him I wanted a large family. We are pregnant with our 4th DAUGHTER so it seems it will be much like the family I grew up in. My husband is an only child. He has always wanted a large family too. We agree that 10 is too many for us 🙂 We don't have a set number of children but I am sure our sanity will run out someday. Financially speaking we are fine but I think that word is different to each family and the things people are willing to sacrifice are very different. I wouldn't even consider having this many children without my husband feeling the same.
royalegacysays
Well, I had six altogether. The seventh didn't make it beyond 3 months in the womb. I still wonder about her–we were convinced she was going to be a girl. I love all my kids, and am glad I had every single one of them. We would've had more, but the c-section with the sixth really messed up my body. I almost died on the table, and the doctor didn't sew me up right. It resulted in me having to have a hysterectomy. Our family is great!
Jeremy, Censie and Judesays
Well we aren't done yet and we both know that. I am good with 2 children and I think Jeremy would be okay with 3 or 4. Financially I know we cannot have more than 2 however, if God provides us with more than 2 I would be excited too!! I think you have to be open with your sig other and then just go with it! 😉 lol
Daniellesays
We had always agreed on two. That was the plan all along. But after my daughter came and we had two healthy, beautiful kids (a boy and a girl) we told each other we wouldn't rule out a third. So for now we're sticking with two but aren't doing anything permanent to rule out a third. If the time comes and our family is ready for another child then I'm sure it'll find it's way into our home!
Mama Luvs Bookssays
Of course you know I can relate. And now that mine are 5 and 7 I think I've really lost the battle. Stinks! Always thought I would have three. It takes two to tango though. My advice is that if you are going to convince him it better be sooner rather than later because later becomes never.
jesicaj1says
My husband is with you and wants #3, I am the other way. We have a boy and a girl and I'm perfectly happy. Good thing I'm in charge of my birth control, lol
Mrs. Tsays
EVERYONE in my husband's family says the same thing! We have a boy and a girl, what more could we want? But three kids just sounds nice to me, I like the idea of it! http://motherhoodandmoney.blogspot.com
Shari Lynne @ www.faithfilledfoodformoms.comsays
Hi Melissa! Oh I can relate..except it was the other way around for me..My husband wanted more kids and I did not:) Not that I don't love babies and children..but we had already raised 4 and my tubes were tied..if you want you could read the whole "short" story here http://www.faithfilledfoodformoms.com/midlife-mom-my-tubal-reversal/ Blessings! I will pray that you will have your third blessing!
MOMMY TALK WITH STEPHsays
This really doesn't apply to me too much. Because I want four and my husband wants five. So we still have quite a few more kids to go. However, I can relate in the fact that most people think I should be done. I have one boy and now I am getting one girl. I have been asked SO many times this week if I am done having children. When I say no, I get a crazy stare. Lol. Well anyway…I know this doesn't really help. But hopefully your husband and you will come to some sort of agreement and that you will be happy either way. Have a great day! XOXO!
Heather McDouglesays
My husband and I for the most part agree. Before marriage we talked about how many kids we wanted and agreed on 4 kids. Given that, my pregnancies haven't been easy so we are unsure about the 4th at the moment. I feel perfectly happy with my 3 kids. I know my husband would really love a 4th and at times I'd really like a 4th. My youngest is 9 months old so I have some time to decide. I hope you and your husband come to some sort of agreement that makes you both happy and satisfied with your family.
Christysays
We have two boys. Our oldest is 8 years old and our youngest will be 3 years old in May. I was VERY certain that I was done after my last pregnancy, but then I decided a girl would be nice. He has wanted another child from the get go. Twins are prevalent on both sides of our family and last generation didn't have any so we figure they are "due" so should we tempt fate? The thing is our boys are amazing, our family is amazing, we have so much love to give and I just still have a longing. I didn't think I did, but I do. So maybe your husband just needs a little bit of time.
Nykkisays
Before we had O, I wanted 2, and Kevin wanted 2-3. Once she got here, we definitely decided two would be it for us. We wanted to have them close together so they could play with each other, and didn't want to deal with "middle child" syndrome. We know realistically we can't afford more than 2, and I feel like if we had 3, someone would get left out, so to speak. I feel like 2 is perfect for us!
Nataliesays
My husband wants kids but he said he could never see him sitting and saying, "Ok I'm ready to have kids." So instead God blessed us with a "surprise" of Nolan which probably couldn't have been at a better time. I am with you and always like the thought of 3 kids. Obviously, that's hard to say when I only have one and am expecting #2 but I just think I would really like 3 instead of your standard 2 kids. We'll see what happens though! 🙂
OverMomsays
My husband and I both wanted 4 kids. But then I got pregnant with Dom and it was horrible. I thought I was done having babies after our first. I did not want any more kids. Pregnancy is horrible for me. But then Gary and I got married and instantly wanted another kid. And so, I got pregnant on our first try.
When we were in the hospital with Logan, Gary looked at me and said "We can do this again and have a third baby." I laughed at him. My reply: "Can my body heal from this one before talking about another one?"
As Logan got older, we decided that when he was 2 we would try for a girl. My Dad passed away, we bought a house, moved in…and BAM a month later I was pregnant and Logan was only 9 months old. I FREAKED out. I was scared. 2 in diapers. How would we afford everything.
I was scared it would be another boy because I really wanted a girl. I was afraid that I would never feel complete without a daughter. But I knew I would love another son. Low and behold, Charlotte was a girl. We named her after my Dad and so we call her Charlie. All was right. I was sick for 9 months with each child. We now both know that we are done after 3.
Charlie was a surprise. She came almost 2 years before we wanted another baby. All things happen for a reason. Whatever you two decide as a final number, it will be right for you guys!
Sonyasays
We did. One was enough for both of us. That's all we wanted and we stopped. I'm honestly glad we did. Good luck!
LisaLisasays
Well I come from a very large family 13 brothers and sisters, yes 13 and all whole. So I knew for me I didn't want to go down the path of no more then three but if i could I think i would have swallowed my pride and had more. Even though they are a challenge they still are God' Little Blessings.
Nicole @ Some Call It Naturalsays
It is definitely a personal decision and you have to just go with your heart. Before talking to hubby about it anymore, I would do some internal thinking/praying about it and make sure it's not just baby fever that all us moms get from time to time. Hubby and I didnt necessarily agree on the #, but it has definitely worked out for the better. We had 3 and we are done. Hubby was kinda done after #2, but of course welcomed #3. I wanted one more, but then had a change of heart when #3 was 2 and decided I was happy with out little family just how it is! 🙂
Lena & Alexsays
My friend has the same problem
Angie {Successful2gether}says
great discussion 🙂 we don't have any kids yet. I say follow your heart and definitely take your hubs in to consideration 🙂 good luck!!
Kristynsays
Im only on my frist child but my hubby is wanting a second really bad!
AMBER EDWARDSsays
This is a great Discussion topic! In our home, the Husband wants more kids than I do! Well…what he wants is a baby RIGHT NOW! I'm still good. Our 2 year old is still in diapers, has a speech delay and really I have my health to get back into shape. that's what I'm waiting on before I decide I'm ready for another one. But he was in the army for 5 years and due to deployments and training, he missed the baby stage of our 2 boys, so he's only experienced the baby stages with our daughter and he absolutely LOVES it. So for him, he's only had one baby, while I've had 3.
Right now, I'm winning out, because of my birth control; there's nothing he can do about it. lol But he is wearing me down. I may consider baby #4 this fall, We'll see how my health is, and if our daughter is potty trained by then. 🙂
Keciasays
I have always wanted two children and have always hoped for one boy and one girl. My husband agreed on that with me too…until we had Sawyer. Now, we are both more than happy to have one child. Sawyer is a healthy kid and wasn't colicky or difficult, but I am almost 100% sure we have reached a mutual decision to just have one. I have no real desire to be pregnant again either lol…I loved (most of) it, but I am good not going through it a second time! 🙂
Brittneysays
I see where you are coming from! My husband is set on our two kids, a boy and a girl! Every now and then I think that I would want another one…but then I think about all that comes with that again…diapers, my body being totally out of whack for a couple of years, the cost, breastfeeding, starting over…
I love the idea of a new baby, but at this point, I'm okay with my two! But if a surprise baby comes our way, we will be okay 🙂
Candice Morettisays
I have baby fever right now. I only have 1 so far, but certainly want 1 if not 2 more. I know hubby is on board for #2 {not right now} but not sure about #3…love reading all these comments! 🙂
Kevin Lsays
Well I guess this post I am having difficulty answering lmao. I live in a 2 male household and umm well its impossible for us lol.
I wish you all the luck Kevin 🙂
Ashley Ssays
Well, I actually didn't want kids. But surprise! Here I am with one. Funny those unexpected pregnancies 🙂 Now that he is here, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I love life as a mom. Maybe one day he'll have a sibling, but for now I am very happy with just one 🙂
Adventures with Little mansays
Great post! & thats a tough spot to be in. I am in it too. I want more than anything to have number two. My hubby DID want to have a second until how my pregnancy ended. Which was an emergency c section at 34 weeks due to extremely high blood pressure and eventually pre E. Little man spent almost a month in NICU and almost a month stay for me. He said he cant take the stress of me being sick. I had several scares were I almost died. It was scary. I am better now and asked my doctor if he thought it was a good idea for me to try again and he said he thought it was because I may not get sick this time. Hubby still will not agree. I feel so sad and actually am in the process of writing a post on it!. Thanks for sharing.
KERRYsays
Well you know I have a 12 year old and an 8 year old and then little Liam so you can see how much I wanted that 3rd child even after all those years 🙂 We never set out with a particular number of children in mind, just whatever we felt like really. You sound as though you really want/wish for another. I would hate to think you might regret not having another little bubba when you are older. Hopefully your husband sees that 🙂 It's a tricky situation, I hope it all works out well for you. They are such a blessing as you know xo
britsays
I'm back where I'm still terrified to have a second because of how hard the first has been. While I love my son, he's still very difficult to handle at times, at a year old. I want to have a big family because I love kids and I LOVED being pregnant, but the idea of having more than 2 is really scary to me. I think Jonathan would have 4-5 if it were up to him.
Ambersays
I was shocked one day when Craig and I had this conversation, and he told me that now that we have Liam, he'd be happy with one. He came from a really big family. I only have one brother and one sister. There are definitely days that I think I'd be happy with one, too. (Not that Liam was that hard, but I always wonder about what could happen.) I'm definitely still up in the air about this one.
How sweet it issays
You have no idea how much I relate to this dilemma! Our situation is pretty mucht he exact same, our girls are 17 months apart and it was (and still is) pretty crazy around our house. Like your oldest mine was a little beast herself and our second popped out to be laid back and happy…..he says we are done, but I long to go through another pregnancy and the whole she-bang again. I want a baby boy so bad while he is completly content because he has the hearts to two beautiful little girls. Im hoping he will come around, because we make a great team!
Cheap Is The *New* Classysays
I never really had a set number in mind. I have one child and I became very sick towards the end of the pregnancy with her. She was perfectly fine though, as was I. 🙂 I then had 2 miscarriages and decided that was it. I feel that God blessed me with one awesome, beautiful daughter and many people don't even get that. My daughter has been such a blessing in my life and I don't feel cheated or resentful at all. I feel that everything happens for a reason, whether we know what that reason is or not.
I hope that you guys can come up with a solution that suits you both. 🙂
Thankfully me and my husband never had a difference of opinion regarding this. But now that I have my 2nd, I am missing being pregnant and kinda wish for a 3rd one. But I'll admit, I like kids more when they are Babies…LOL….when they grow brains, its so difficult to handle some kids.
Mommy With Selective Memorysays
Give him some time…maybe after awhile he'll soften up to the idea…my Mom said it took two years to make my Dad agree to have my little brother…and it worked out well 🙂
Cheerful Homemakersays
You said it yourself — the time isn't right. So maybe one of these days the time WILL be right and your husband will embrace the idea of expanding your family. I grew up with only a little brother and always wished that my parents would have had at least one more child (preferably a sister!). I've always been clear that I would like a large family. My labor stressed him out so much that before I gave birth he asked if we could stop with one!
Heather from Our Girls Keep Us Movingsays
I go back and forth about the third all the time. Right now, I can't imagine juggling another. Life is crazy. However if I have 3, I will probably want 4…I like even numbers. Yes, I'm a little neurotic 🙂 Give it some time and Greg may come around.
Anonymoussays
Great topic! I like the comment about G-d giving us 2 hands to safely walk 2 children accross the street. That is how I feel, and I also I agree that finances should be a factor. With that said, children are a blessing and a gift from G-d, and you have to follow your heart. Would be a shame to live with regret of not having more children. In your situation, it works out since u r not ready for #3 yet anyway, so greg may come around by then! Or maybe there is a remote chance u may change your mind. For now, I love my sweet boy and wish for girl as #2 so we can stop there. However, if #2 is a boy, I will take that as a blessing from G-d and a msg to have 3 with the understanding and acceptance that it could be 3 boys!:)
Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHousesays
We always only wanted 2 children but after we had our second boy I longed for a little girl. With baby #2 i had no drugs, labor was fast and intense and baby was almost 11 lbs. After that I said no more but only after a month I knew I wanted another.I think even if baby #2 was a girl I would still want another. My hubby could see I really wanted a girl so he gave in but I only think it was because we had 2 boys. He was easy to convince. So here we are now pregnant with baby #3…another boy. I would have another one but only if it was guaranteed to be a girl, the husband not so much. I think 3 is good. I know I would totally regret it if we didn't have 3 babies. I didn't want to look back 10 years from now and wish we would have had another. Good luck!!!
Jamie L.says
My husband tells me all the time he wants FIVE kids, yes FIVE! My limit was one, but now I am open to 3, possibly 4 if I am drunk. Did I mention he tells me ALL THE TIME how he wants more? But when I say I want another baby, because I have a bad case of baby fever, he says no. HUH??? I don't get it. When I ask why he says "Not right now". So yes, I feel ya! lol. I want to be done having kids ASAP and this guy is dragging it out for some unknown reason… GRRR!
RAY Jsays
I've never pictured myself having more than 3. More than that just seems like too many. Plus, you can't drive a normal sedan car with more than 5 people in it and well, I really don't like mini-vans and just see SUV's as gas guzzlers – I'd like my "mom car" to at least be able to look a little sporty while still being practical.
Hubby comes from a large family – 2nd oldest of 6 – and well, he doesn't want a brood or basketball team. He agreed with me from the start – at least 2, no more than 3.
While we're only at #1 (and waiting til he's at least 2 to think about having another!), if #2 is a girl I'd be fine with stopping there, having 1 of each. Granted, if all 3 are boys, well, as much I'd like to have a little girl in the mix of things, I don't think I could handle more than 3 little ones running around driving me nuts, lol… I'd like to have 2 by the time I'm 30 so if we do decide to go for #3 there's still plenty of time and we won't have to worry as much about any risks that may occur if you're older nor will we be super old trying to deal with a teenager like my parents were with my sis.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
Our 3rd child was a surprise and even more of a surprise to find out it was a boy (after having 2 girls) we decided to go for number 4 because we wanted our kids to have a partner in crime. We lucked out with having another boy. I'm done with having kids. They are so close in age that having any more would just be crazy. lol
trying to conceive baby 5 now! 5 is it for us – that is 5 c-sections.
We always thought we wanted 2, maybe 3. Now that we have 2 (14 months apart at that!), we both agree…TWO is good! LOL!
Honestly, I've never wanted more than two kids. Yes, I adore babies. I love the entire process of being pregnant and snuggling your newborn. They don't stay babies though & eventually they turn into children and teenagers who require much more attention and much more patience. Two is about what I feel competent to deal with and so I'm staying here.
It's funny how things work out. When I was a 16, I said I was never getting married and NEVER having kids. I got married 3 years later and had 4 children in less than 7 years. I went to my OB/GYN yesterday to discuss shutting down the baby maker before any SURPRISES happen and he actually talked me out of it because I said "I *think* we are done." He explained that so many women think that and then regret it a few years down the road. I can't imagine ever wanting a 5th child but because you never know what might happen, I decided to go with an IUD vs. getting a permanent fix. LOL
Before having children I wanted 5, yes 5! When we had our first that number very quickly went to 2 or 3 for me. My husband wanted to have a son after having a daughter, so he was fine with 2 when we found out our second was a boy. We thought our life was complete and both thought 2 is enough. Right before our son turned 1 we found out I was pregnant..shocked bc our first 2 children were very planned we had our 3rd (a boy). Dont get me wrong Id do it all over again but having 3 was just more than we can deal with sometimes. I dont know if its bc my boys are only 18 months apart and our daughter still 4 (3 when he was born) but its alot of work especially with our 3rd being our toughest baby. Since then we have agreed we are done having babies. My husband thinks im insane bc I still get the newborn itch thats when I go to a friends house and play with their babies and go home 🙂
I'm in the midst of baby fever right now, so I may be the wrong person to ask. I can relate some though, because Jake has said plenty of times that he thinks two is enough, while I can see having four. It's just something that will work itself out, I think… And you make such beautiful babies, you simple HAVE to have another 🙂
Always such a hard decision. We had two naturally but because of health issues & having diabetes during my pregnancy, we decided to not risk it again. So, we adopted 2 more. 🙂 A sibling group, brother/sister. That way we still had more kids like we wanted, but I didn't risk getting diabetes for life from a 3rd or 4th pregnancy. Hubby would have liked to adopt more, but I was at my limit at 4. Of course, finances put a stop to any more adoptions.
I always said I never wanted kids, I wanted to be the 'fun aunt'… you know so you can send them home and stuff. Then promptly spit out 4… I had my tubes tied the day after my youngest one was born. and was over joyed… for a few years. Then I divorced and remarried and thought… now WE can't have any… we bounced back and forth every six months or so about having the tubes untied. Then the grand kids came. (I'm a VERY young, cool and extremely hip Gma!) And, we're good with that now… I think we all have that feeling of 'I can always do this later"… then when 'later' passes you by and you realize you can't anymore… it's a feeling of being 'broke'… or… something. I can still have them untied, but don't want to anymore. It's such a personal choice for everyone…. and people who wait until the 'right time', I want to know exactly when is 'right'… because I think it's different for everyone. for me, I like to hold friends teeny tiny yummy smelling babies… then they poop and the feeling of wanting more completely disappears! =)
When we were engaged, Seth and I both said that we wanted 3 kids. We thought that was a nice number to have. We hoped for at least one boy and one girl. Then Aiden came. Aiden was not a hard baby at all, but Seth, being the new dad stressed and said we were done at 1. After a while he relaxed and then we went ahead and had Rebecca. Super, super easy. He was all set with having just 2 and I was nervous because while I really wanted a girl, what if we had another boy? We agreed that if #2 had been a girl then we would consider a third, but if #2 was a girl then we were done. So as it stands, unless we win the lottery we are done. Everyone has their own room. I don't need a bigger car for a 3rd and financially we are very comfortable to be able to take family vacations, participate in activities and do things with the house. A third is managable, but we wouldn't be able to do everything else. It would make it tight.
Gwen was a total surprise, but before we found out we had had the talk a few times, and I thought that we were both on the same page. Wanting two. Then sometime before we found out that we were having a girl, I overheard Jason say that he could be done with one, if it was a boy! I was like, "What?!?!". I told him NO WAY and that he just jinxed it, he was definitely getting a girl now, and I was right! He was an only child until he was 16, and then his mom had triplets, so I was amazed that he would want his child to be an only child! We have agreed on one more and he is BEGGING for a boy! Lol But we aren't trying until after my brother's wedding in August.
My OB tried to talk me out of wanting to get my tubes tied. She said "you're so young, do you want to think about it more?" Already did and we don't want an oops baby. I'm going in July to get it done.
We are in the same decision making process as you are actually. I never wanted children and then at 25 yrs old I got the surprise of my life when we found out we were pregnant. My daughter Leila was born in 2004 and she was the light of my life! For years we didn't even discuss having more children and then we moved and bought a house and decided we would start trying. I had my son June 2010 and couldn't have been happier. At that point I was pretty sure I wanted another one at some point but got another surprise when my son was 6 months old… we were pregnant again! Our daughter Maia was born September 11, 2011. Her birth was very traumatic and we both almost lost our lives but in the end it all turned out ok! I was talking to my husband the other night about what we want to do (get my tubes tied or have a vasectomy, etc) and whether we wanted to have another one. He does not want another child but I don't want to take it off the table completely. I think I just don't like the idea that "I can't" have another one. At this point I do not want to but as a woman I feel like mentally I should. We decided that if we ever want to take on another child, we will adopt. I feel like that would be just as rewarding as giving birth to my own. We will see though… 2 in 2 years has been tough. I will give it a few years to see how I feel!
When my husband and I first decided on having baby number 1 he in formed me he wanted 3 children. Well, after baby number 2 he had changed his mind. We have a boy and a girl and that was enough for him. Our first born is very hard to handle. Its put alot of extra stress on us. He decided to have a vasectomy. I have been secretly wanting to have another child. We cant though so even though i love both my children with all my heart, the wanting of that third child seems to be a real problem for me.
I always figured God only gave me 2 hands to hold 2 childrens hands when crossing the street, to keep them safe. I don't think as a mother, you ever lose that yearning for a baby, but you need to realistic about it. Consider your finances, your spouse, all factors have to be in sync. I am loving have a grandson to be able to hand hold with now. They are a blessing not quite explainable 🙂
Julie Lovell Backes
I seriously could have written this post for you, except switch out Disney for Hawaii and O was a great baby! I feel the same as your husband in the part where we have 1 of each gender, and there are two of them and two of us. However, I just don't feel done (probably why I'm having trouble getting rid of all that baby stuff we have). I'm not ready for a 3rd just now either. B is only 16 months old and I want to be able to enjoy her at this age and not worry about a newborn. I also fear the 3rd child syndrom…would she feel left out? My hubby and I both came from a family with 2 kids, so I'm not sure of the dynamics of 3 kids. I also always said that I would never have 3 kids, unless I had a single child and a set of twins. So with that being said, I'm either done, or have 2 more to come at some point! ; ) I was so hoping after having B that I would have that feeling of being done, but I don't. My husband is 100% done until I convince him! ; )
We always said we were having two and that was it. Then Wyatt came along and at my 6 week check up I was ready to start trying for number 2. Ryan of course said absolutely not so we waited until he was 7 months old. I'm 3 months in and so very ready to get pregnant again, but then the fear creeps up that maybe we are only supposed to have one baby. But who knows. Wyatt has the easiest baby ever and we know the next one is pretty much guaranteed to be a hard baby. I've already asked for 3 kids…Ryan still says 2 but we will see. I think it's hard to overlook 3 college tuitions!
Oh goodness, that is a tough one. I don't think my answer will be much different from any of the others. That doesn't help, does it?! We only have one and I still go back and forth on having another. One for medical reasons and two, he has had issues of his own. But then I think I would feel guilty later on. If you have your mind set on having another, I'm sure you will be able to work it out.
I have 3 but I think 2 is an excellent number to stop at.
From my experience, until you are sure your ready for another one soon, or done FOREVER, theres a huge grey space. we would love to have a house full of kids, but life has another plan for us. maybe on your trip to hawaii you and your husband will have the time to sit down and come together 🙂
I think this has crossed all our minds whether we're newlyweds, pregnant with #1 or #2 or just have a new baby at home. I know for sure that we want 1 more, but I've also always had this "feeling" that 2 won't be enough and that we'll have 3. As "awful" as this could sound, I think if we have another boy next, I would really want to try for my little girl for #3, but if we ended up with 3 boys I'd still be the happiest mom in the world, I LOVE being a boy mom. But if we get pregnant and end up having a girl…I still feel like I'd want the 3rd. Having said that…we just have to take it day by day and see how we handle ourselves as a family of 4 first. I think it's a lot easier to plan vacations, etc with an even number in your family too. Hubby grew up in a family of 4 kids…and I'm thinking there's no way I want 4, but like you said…there's always the possibility of twins!
I was once in the same boat! We had a boy and a girl, and my husband said we were absolutely done. I was heartbroken, because I had always wanted 4 kids. In a funny turn of events, he was the one who wanted to try for the third! I am not sure what changed his mind, but our third baby is such a blessing.
When we're asked if we're going to have another, he always says we are done, but he doesn't want to do anything permanent, "just in case."
Our children are now 10, 8 & 3. Everyone asks if #3 was an OOOOps baby! But, he was VERY planned. We talked about a 3rd and decided that we would leave it in God's hands. We would "try" for one month to get pregnant, and if it worked, we would know it was meant to be. If it hadn't of worked I would have accepted that 2 children was God's plan for our family. Although our 3rd child is a TERROR- and I am getting older and have less patience for his shananagins … he is still a spark of energy and life in our family unit. I can't imagine life without him in it. Are vacations more difficult with him in tow? YES! Can we have a peaceful dinner out with the kids? NO! But, that is temporary. At this stage in our lives, sometimes I think of how nice it would be to have a 5th grader and a 2nd grader… and RELAX! But, …. then I think of our future ~ and I might be a nana to 6 or more kids someday!! I want everyone here for holidays and celebrations ~ enjoying a large family! You will never have enough money & you will never have enough time. That is the reality. So, just do the best you can with what you have. God will never give you more than you can handle. That's what I believe.
I started with big numbers like 6 or 8 just in case my husband wanted to cut it down to a few, lol. I came from a house of 4 sisters so no surprise to him I wanted a large family. We are pregnant with our 4th DAUGHTER so it seems it will be much like the family I grew up in. My husband is an only child. He has always wanted a large family too. We agree that 10 is too many for us 🙂 We don't have a set number of children but I am sure our sanity will run out someday. Financially speaking we are fine but I think that word is different to each family and the things people are willing to sacrifice are very different. I wouldn't even consider having this many children without my husband feeling the same.
Well, I had six altogether. The seventh didn't make it beyond 3 months in the womb. I still wonder about her–we were convinced she was going to be a girl. I love all my kids, and am glad I had every single one of them. We would've had more, but the c-section with the sixth really messed up my body. I almost died on the table, and the doctor didn't sew me up right. It resulted in me having to have a hysterectomy. Our family is great!
Well we aren't done yet and we both know that. I am good with 2 children and I think Jeremy would be okay with 3 or 4. Financially I know we cannot have more than 2 however, if God provides us with more than 2 I would be excited too!! I think you have to be open with your sig other and then just go with it! 😉 lol
We had always agreed on two. That was the plan all along. But after my daughter came and we had two healthy, beautiful kids (a boy and a girl) we told each other we wouldn't rule out a third. So for now we're sticking with two but aren't doing anything permanent to rule out a third. If the time comes and our family is ready for another child then I'm sure it'll find it's way into our home!
Of course you know I can relate. And now that mine are 5 and 7 I think I've really lost the battle. Stinks! Always thought I would have three. It takes two to tango though. My advice is that if you are going to convince him it better be sooner rather than later because later becomes never.
My husband is with you and wants #3, I am the other way. We have a boy and a girl and I'm perfectly happy. Good thing I'm in charge of my birth control, lol
EVERYONE in my husband's family says the same thing! We have a boy and a girl, what more could we want? But three kids just sounds nice to me, I like the idea of it!
http://motherhoodandmoney.blogspot.com
Hi Melissa!
Oh I can relate..except it was the other way around for me..My husband wanted more kids and I did not:) Not that I don't love babies and children..but we had already raised 4 and my tubes were tied..if you want you could read the whole "short" story here http://www.faithfilledfoodformoms.com/midlife-mom-my-tubal-reversal/
Blessings! I will pray that you will have your third blessing!
This really doesn't apply to me too much. Because I want four and my husband wants five. So we still have quite a few more kids to go. However, I can relate in the fact that most people think I should be done. I have one boy and now I am getting one girl. I have been asked SO many times this week if I am done having children. When I say no, I get a crazy stare. Lol. Well anyway…I know this doesn't really help. But hopefully your husband and you will come to some sort of agreement and that you will be happy either way. Have a great day! XOXO!
My husband and I for the most part agree. Before marriage we talked about how many kids we wanted and agreed on 4 kids. Given that, my pregnancies haven't been easy so we are unsure about the 4th at the moment. I feel perfectly happy with my 3 kids. I know my husband would really love a 4th and at times I'd really like a 4th. My youngest is 9 months old so I have some time to decide. I hope you and your husband come to some sort of agreement that makes you both happy and satisfied with your family.
We have two boys. Our oldest is 8 years old and our youngest will be 3 years old in May. I was VERY certain that I was done after my last pregnancy, but then I decided a girl would be nice. He has wanted another child from the get go. Twins are prevalent on both sides of our family and last generation didn't have any so we figure they are "due" so should we tempt fate? The thing is our boys are amazing, our family is amazing, we have so much love to give and I just still have a longing. I didn't think I did, but I do. So maybe your husband just needs a little bit of time.
Before we had O, I wanted 2, and Kevin wanted 2-3. Once she got here, we definitely decided two would be it for us. We wanted to have them close together so they could play with each other, and didn't want to deal with "middle child" syndrome. We know realistically we can't afford more than 2, and I feel like if we had 3, someone would get left out, so to speak. I feel like 2 is perfect for us!
My husband wants kids but he said he could never see him sitting and saying, "Ok I'm ready to have kids." So instead God blessed us with a "surprise" of Nolan which probably couldn't have been at a better time. I am with you and always like the thought of 3 kids. Obviously, that's hard to say when I only have one and am expecting #2 but I just think I would really like 3 instead of your standard 2 kids. We'll see what happens though! 🙂
My husband and I both wanted 4 kids. But then I got pregnant with Dom and it was horrible. I thought I was done having babies after our first. I did not want any more kids. Pregnancy is horrible for me. But then Gary and I got married and instantly wanted another kid. And so, I got pregnant on our first try.
When we were in the hospital with Logan, Gary looked at me and said "We can do this again and have a third baby." I laughed at him. My reply: "Can my body heal from this one before talking about another one?"
As Logan got older, we decided that when he was 2 we would try for a girl. My Dad passed away, we bought a house, moved in…and BAM a month later I was pregnant and Logan was only 9 months old. I FREAKED out. I was scared. 2 in diapers. How would we afford everything.
I was scared it would be another boy because I really wanted a girl. I was afraid that I would never feel complete without a daughter. But I knew I would love another son. Low and behold, Charlotte was a girl. We named her after my Dad and so we call her Charlie. All was right. I was sick for 9 months with each child. We now both know that we are done after 3.
Charlie was a surprise. She came almost 2 years before we wanted another baby. All things happen for a reason. Whatever you two decide as a final number, it will be right for you guys!
We did. One was enough for both of us. That's all we wanted and we stopped. I'm honestly glad we did. Good luck!
Well I come from a very large family 13 brothers and sisters, yes 13 and all whole. So I knew for me I didn't want to go down the path of no more then three but if i could I think i would have swallowed my pride and had more. Even though they are a challenge they still are God' Little Blessings.
It is definitely a personal decision and you have to just go with your heart. Before talking to hubby about it anymore, I would do some internal thinking/praying about it and make sure it's not just baby fever that all us moms get from time to time. Hubby and I didnt necessarily agree on the #, but it has definitely worked out for the better. We had 3 and we are done. Hubby was kinda done after #2, but of course welcomed #3. I wanted one more, but then had a change of heart when #3 was 2 and decided I was happy with out little family just how it is! 🙂
My friend has the same problem
great discussion 🙂 we don't have any kids yet. I say follow your heart and definitely take your hubs in to consideration 🙂 good luck!!
Im only on my frist child but my hubby is wanting a second really bad!
This is a great Discussion topic! In our home, the Husband wants more kids than I do! Well…what he wants is a baby RIGHT NOW! I'm still good. Our 2 year old is still in diapers, has a speech delay and really I have my health to get back into shape. that's what I'm waiting on before I decide I'm ready for another one. But he was in the army for 5 years and due to deployments and training, he missed the baby stage of our 2 boys, so he's only experienced the baby stages with our daughter and he absolutely LOVES it. So for him, he's only had one baby, while I've had 3.
Right now, I'm winning out, because of my birth control; there's nothing he can do about it. lol But he is wearing me down. I may consider baby #4 this fall, We'll see how my health is, and if our daughter is potty trained by then. 🙂
I have always wanted two children and have always hoped for one boy and one girl. My husband agreed on that with me too…until we had Sawyer. Now, we are both more than happy to have one child. Sawyer is a healthy kid and wasn't colicky or difficult, but I am almost 100% sure we have reached a mutual decision to just have one. I have no real desire to be pregnant again either lol…I loved (most of) it, but I am good not going through it a second time! 🙂
I see where you are coming from! My husband is set on our two kids, a boy and a girl! Every now and then I think that I would want another one…but then I think about all that comes with that again…diapers, my body being totally out of whack for a couple of years, the cost, breastfeeding, starting over…
I love the idea of a new baby, but at this point, I'm okay with my two! But if a surprise baby comes our way, we will be okay 🙂
I have baby fever right now. I only have 1 so far, but certainly want 1 if not 2 more. I know hubby is on board for #2 {not right now} but not sure about #3…love reading all these comments! 🙂
Well I guess this post I am having difficulty answering lmao. I live in a 2 male household and umm well its impossible for us lol.
I wish you all the luck
Kevin 🙂
Well, I actually didn't want kids. But surprise! Here I am with one. Funny those unexpected pregnancies 🙂 Now that he is here, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I love life as a mom. Maybe one day he'll have a sibling, but for now I am very happy with just one 🙂
Great post! & thats a tough spot to be in. I am in it too. I want more than anything to have number two. My hubby DID want to have a second until how my pregnancy ended. Which was an emergency c section at 34 weeks due to extremely high blood pressure and eventually pre E. Little man spent almost a month in NICU and almost a month stay for me. He said he cant take the stress of me being sick. I had several scares were I almost died. It was scary. I am better now and asked my doctor if he thought it was a good idea for me to try again and he said he thought it was because I may not get sick this time. Hubby still will not agree. I feel so sad and actually am in the process of writing a post on it!. Thanks for sharing.
Well you know I have a 12 year old and an 8 year old and then little Liam so you can see how much I wanted that 3rd child even after all those years 🙂
We never set out with a particular number of children in mind, just whatever we felt like really.
You sound as though you really want/wish for another. I would hate to think you might regret not having another little bubba when you are older. Hopefully your husband sees that 🙂
It's a tricky situation, I hope it all works out well for you.
They are such a blessing as you know xo
I'm back where I'm still terrified to have a second because of how hard the first has been. While I love my son, he's still very difficult to handle at times, at a year old. I want to have a big family because I love kids and I LOVED being pregnant, but the idea of having more than 2 is really scary to me. I think Jonathan would have 4-5 if it were up to him.
I was shocked one day when Craig and I had this conversation, and he told me that now that we have Liam, he'd be happy with one. He came from a really big family. I only have one brother and one sister. There are definitely days that I think I'd be happy with one, too. (Not that Liam was that hard, but I always wonder about what could happen.) I'm definitely still up in the air about this one.
You have no idea how much I relate to this dilemma! Our situation is pretty mucht he exact same, our girls are 17 months apart and it was (and still is) pretty crazy around our house. Like your oldest mine was a little beast herself and our second popped out to be laid back and happy…..he says we are done, but I long to go through another pregnancy and the whole she-bang again. I want a baby boy so bad while he is completly content because he has the hearts to two beautiful little girls. Im hoping he will come around, because we make a great team!
I never really had a set number in mind. I have one child and I became very sick towards the end of the pregnancy with her. She was perfectly fine though, as was I. 🙂 I then had 2 miscarriages and decided that was it. I feel that God blessed me with one awesome, beautiful daughter and many people don't even get that. My daughter has been such a blessing in my life and I don't feel cheated or resentful at all. I feel that everything happens for a reason, whether we know what that reason is or not.
I hope that you guys can come up with a solution that suits you both. 🙂
Dawn
http://www.cheapisthenewclassy.com
Not impossible at all. There's always adoption. 😉
Dawn
http://www.cheapisthenewclassy.com
Thankfully me and my husband never had a difference of opinion regarding this. But now that I have my 2nd, I am missing being pregnant and kinda wish for a 3rd one. But I'll admit, I like kids more when they are Babies…LOL….when they grow brains, its so difficult to handle some kids.
Give him some time…maybe after awhile he'll soften up to the idea…my Mom said it took two years to make my Dad agree to have my little brother…and it worked out well 🙂
You said it yourself — the time isn't right. So maybe one of these days the time WILL be right and your husband will embrace the idea of expanding your family. I grew up with only a little brother and always wished that my parents would have had at least one more child (preferably a sister!). I've always been clear that I would like a large family. My labor stressed him out so much that before I gave birth he asked if we could stop with one!
I go back and forth about the third all the time. Right now, I can't imagine juggling another. Life is crazy. However if I have 3, I will probably want 4…I like even numbers. Yes, I'm a little neurotic 🙂 Give it some time and Greg may come around.
Great topic! I like the comment about G-d giving us 2 hands to safely walk 2 children accross the street. That is how I feel, and I also I agree that finances should be a factor. With that said, children are a blessing and a gift from G-d, and you have to follow your heart. Would be a shame to live with regret of not having more children. In your situation, it works out since u r not ready for #3 yet anyway, so greg may come around by then! Or maybe there is a remote chance u may change your mind. For now, I love my sweet boy and wish for girl as #2 so we can stop there. However, if #2 is a boy, I will take that as a blessing from G-d and a msg to have 3 with the understanding and acceptance that it could be 3 boys!:)
We always only wanted 2 children but after we had our second boy I longed for a little girl. With baby #2 i had no drugs, labor was fast and intense and baby was almost 11 lbs. After that I said no more but only after a month I knew I wanted another.I think even if baby #2 was a girl I would still want another. My hubby could see I really wanted a girl so he gave in but I only think it was because we had 2 boys. He was easy to convince. So here we are now pregnant with baby #3…another boy. I would have another one but only if it was guaranteed to be a girl, the husband not so much. I think 3 is good. I know I would totally regret it if we didn't have 3 babies. I didn't want to look back 10 years from now and wish we would have had another. Good luck!!!
My husband tells me all the time he wants FIVE kids, yes FIVE! My limit was one, but now I am open to 3, possibly 4 if I am drunk. Did I mention he tells me ALL THE TIME how he wants more? But when I say I want another baby, because I have a bad case of baby fever, he says no. HUH??? I don't get it. When I ask why he says "Not right now". So yes, I feel ya! lol. I want to be done having kids ASAP and this guy is dragging it out for some unknown reason… GRRR!
I've never pictured myself having more than 3. More than that just seems like too many. Plus, you can't drive a normal sedan car with more than 5 people in it and well, I really don't like mini-vans and just see SUV's as gas guzzlers – I'd like my "mom car" to at least be able to look a little sporty while still being practical.
Hubby comes from a large family – 2nd oldest of 6 – and well, he doesn't want a brood or basketball team. He agreed with me from the start – at least 2, no more than 3.
While we're only at #1 (and waiting til he's at least 2 to think about having another!), if #2 is a girl I'd be fine with stopping there, having 1 of each. Granted, if all 3 are boys, well, as much I'd like to have a little girl in the mix of things, I don't think I could handle more than 3 little ones running around driving me nuts, lol… I'd like to have 2 by the time I'm 30 so if we do decide to go for #3 there's still plenty of time and we won't have to worry as much about any risks that may occur if you're older nor will we be super old trying to deal with a teenager like my parents were with my sis.