GUEST POST: The top ten hysterical bits about pregnancy!

My first guest blogger is Lacey from http://frompeestickstolabor.blogspot.com/. Lacey is due with her first child January Fifth and she loves to write all about pregnancy. She is very witty so please go check her out!

While I’m not the mommy to an outside baby, I am a mommy to my unborn daughter. That being said, I don’t know all that much about parenting (even though I’d like to believe I do, I’m not that naive) but being over halfway done with this pregnancy…I do know a thing or 5 about being pregnant!

When I found out I was pregnant, I went out and bought arm loads of books to prepare me and googled all that I could about pregnancy but nothing could have prepared me for this. Even if the books were spot on about over half of it all, even if the googled lists and articles were super informative and insightful, they lacked a certain bit of something. Nothing seemed to really capture the moments they described. So I figured, why can’t I make my own list with my own perspective? With some experience behind my maternity panel pants, here’s my list of the awesome sides of pregnancy!

1. It’s time to learn a new sense of respect for your body. Now is not the time to worry about trimming off those last few inches or to put yourself on a restrictive diet. Now is the time to really appreciate your body for what it is doing! You are growing and sustaining life…thank goodness we aren’t in charge (cause we’d undoubtedly mess it up with our reluctance to leave well enough alone!) but Mother Nature is or you would have to have a degree or certificate to do what your body already knows how to do! Time to sit back and watch in wonder at the amazing things taking place!

2. Speaking of a new respect for your body…Now that everyone is concentrating on your growing bump after you’ve announced the big news, who is going to notice your growing backside/thighs/or that bit of belly you never could get rid of? Who else is happy that you no longer feel the need to suck in your belly (since that seems to be the biggest complaint of women everywhere!) I know I am! Now is the time to wear your growing figure with pride, push that stomach out girlfriend!

3. The later stages of pregnancy give you full rights to throw all fashion rules out the window. I know that we all still want to look cute no matter what but there will be days where you can’t help but think “Screw It!” and don your husband’s basketball shorts (cause you look like you’re smuggling one anyways!) and a once too big t-shirt when before pregnancy (from here on out known as B.P.) you wouldn’t be caught dead in public not matching and looking put together. I know that the road to fashion hell begins in the maternity section and at the same time that maternity fashion has come a LONG way but this is your chance to look like crap in public without feeling an ounce of remorse!

4. Hormones are to blame for EVERYTHING. Forgot to put your laundry in the dryer? Pregnancy brain. Decided to take apart your kitchen table to replace the tarnished screws? Nesting. Cried because you were out of popcorn? Well, I’m not quite sure if there’s even a technical term for this one but I’ve been there and all these things have something in common: Hormones. While they are doing an awesome job of keeping your little one all snug and happy inside, they are making you a mess on the outside. But hey, there’s scientific proof that it’s not technically your fault that you’ve turned into a forgetful neat freak that cries over the slightest thing!

5. I don’t know about bringing sexy back, but I do know that nap time is an established hour in my household. And I don’t even have a toddler. That’s right, nothing gives you more entitlement to take anywhere from a 15 minute rest to a full blown nap than pregnancy fatigue. While fatigue isn’t the pretty nor fun part, those naps make you feel like a new woman and that is worth it’s time in gold.

6. Ice cream at 10 o’clock in the morning? But it’s got calcium AND the baby wanted it, not you! Okay, while the “not you” part was a lie, who is going to deny a pregnant woman an innocent craving for ice cream? I can see why your husband is going to tell you no to that bottle of wine after his mother drives you the rest of the way insane (cause your husband was working on the first bit) but anything that’s not going to harm you or the baby, go for it! Once again, pregnancy is giving you full rights!

7. Speaking of cravings and eating, those newer, bigger boobies and belly sticking out makes the perfect shelf. Until the baby decides they don’t want your plate full of nachos resting on their little head and bumps it around, while sitting on the couch, you can rest just about anything on top of your growing body for easier access. Lazy? Possibly. Resourceful? You betcha!

8. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just been hibernating. There is nothing to the public’s eye sweeter and more endearing than a pregnant woman. That being said, you may only be trying to carry a carton of eggs and a loaf of bread to your car from the local grocery store but someone is going to offer to carry them for you and at the very least, open the doors/let you go first through the automatic doors. I’m not telling you to take advantage of the kindness of strangers but do accept this help because after a certain point, your husband will see that you are capable of bringing in the groceries 10 bags at a time!

9. Stemming off of #6, now is the perfect time to try to mend your relationship with your mother and/or your Mother In Law if y’all aren’t on perfect terms. There is nothing that brings women together more than their own babies having a baby. And yes, it is your Mother In Law’s baby that is having a baby as well. Don’t leave her out of it, as tempting as it may be! Plus, these women will be more than likely willing (and eager!) to watch the baby while you run out for coffee, go on a date again with your husband, or while you take one of your first postpartum showers…(yes, I have this planned already!) While they may not absolutely adore you, these women are the kind that in case of a fire, will grab up the baby (with the baby book in hand) while pushing you out of their way, but at least you know your child will be safe.

and my favorite?

10. The Secret Club. Once you find out you are pregnant, you join the tribe of mothers and mothers to be. This is where they pull you in close and share their own stories. This is where you are going to find your best friends and life savers. They’ve been right in front of you the whole time. There is no secret handshake and the hazing process is simple: get a positive pregnancy test.